As I sat in the vacant waiting room outside my most recent audition, I couldn’t help but feel its walls daring to close in on me. The Senate Judiciary Hearings for Judge Kavanaugh and Dr. Ford played silently on the television in the corner, and their mimed expressions of respective rage and terror threatened to suck the oxygen right out of the tiny room. It begun to feel dangerously close to a padded cell. I sat in anticipation of my audition, distracted by their pantomimes, pain, bombarded with similar memories of my own…and, thankfully, the whole of who I am. I [...]
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So far masonmollicone has created 33 blog entries.
Cosby. My phone buzzed in my hand on the way to my audition this afternoon. I turned it over to find Google alerting me to the fact that Bill Cosby—the actor whose pudding pops I begged my mother to buy as a child, Dr. Huxtable who made me aspire to having a brownstone and family full of high-achievers in New York City, the comedian whose standup sets I studied before I eventually got on stage myself—was on his way to prison for three to ten years. America’s beloved television dad was finally “brought to justice” for the repeated, pathological, pre-meditated, criminal [...]
Exorcism. I spoke to a dear friend of mine yesterday over FaceTime, and from the moment he clicked on, I was hit with a powerful wave of distressing energy as it cascaded off of him. He has been going through a dark and gnarly time in his life of late, one in which conflict has seemed to come at him from all angles; one that has left him feeling bereft of allies and disenfranchised from where he once stood socially and occupationally. My heart broke for him, for we have all been through times that test our resolve, that try our [...]
Age. “Well, how old are you?” Record scratch. I was standing in the very manicured backyard of a gorgeous home in Los Angeles, six sentences into a conversation with a complete stranger. The impetuousness with which he asked his question caught me off guard a bit, and I paused, not sure if it had really happened. He doubled-down and asked again, without a whisper of potential impropriety. “How old are you? I mean, you can’t be that old?” Wow. Just what every woman wants to hear. Once my slack jaw came back together again, I spent the rest of the night [...]
“I’ve started interviewing for a new job.” My good friend—a recent transplant to New York—was guzzling his enormous iced coffee. I stopped mid-sip on my soy latte. “OMG, already? You’ve had your job for less than a year. You have benefits, catered breakfast and lunch, a masseuse on staff, free metro cards and a ridiculous coffee shop on your floor…you have the sweetest deal going for a corporate gig straight out of school. Ever. WHY?” “Yeah, but I don’t feel like I’m making an impact there. IDK—I just feel like I should be making more of a…difference, ya know?” Yes, I [...]
“May your choices reflect your hopes not your fears.” Nelson Mandela My beautiful mother sent this quote to me over the weekend. And while I had to read it a few times to make sure it didn’t sneakily espouse her most recent diatribe such as, “May your choices give me grand babies I hope, like ALL of your peers,” it has yet to leave my consciousness. It triggered my curiosity about the choices we have available to us in today’s world; about what it means to have quality of life, to have fulfillment; and what it means to live in either [...]
Flow. I just saw "Hamilton" two weekends ago. It has taken this long for the experience to course through my mind, my body, my soul, so that I could get to a point where I would be able to fully articulate my responses. For me, it was akin to hearing Mozart for the first time; glimpsing the same level of creative and inspired genius. The level of chill-inducing emotional rapture that awakens an electrical storm of kinetic energy throughout my body; the kind that uses my spine as a lightening rod; that lights up my motor neurons like a swarm of [...]
I survived sexual abuse in the Air Force academy. I am not a victim. I am a victor. — Published on August 7, 2018 by Polo Tate, Author of DEEP DARK BLUE, Actress, Artist, Athlete Polo Tate, author of DEEP DARK BLUE: A Memoir of Survival “Pardon me, sir, I’m finished. May I give you back the form for my dog tags?” I handed the grizzled gray-haired vet behind the counter back the form he had given me. His woolen baseball cap said ARMY in gold letters and was adorned with various combat pins along the sides, hiding most of a [...]
Sexual Assault in the Military: One Woman's True Story Polo Tate, author of new memoir Deep Dark Blue, was sexually assaulted multiple times during her time at the Air Force Academy. Getty ImagesModel used for illustrative purposes only. “Come on, Tate. My dog-gone grandma is stronger than you!” I was face down in the Colorado dirt. The upperclass cadet shoved his hand down the back of my pants, grabbing my belt, camouflage cargos, and underwear, and yanked me off the ground into a plank position he called “the mother.” I was sweating through full battle dress uniform pants, a USAFA ringer [...]
I was watching an interview with a well-known YouTuber over the weekend, and she spoke openly about the fact that she had “trust issues.” She gave the exact speech that she gives to all of those with whom she enters into a close relationship, be it romantic or platonic. Essentially, she warns them that she has deep-seated trust issues, stemming from her childhood, that prevent her from getting over or forgiving a lie, should they choose to tell her one and she catches them or finds out later. Essentially, lying—big or small—was her immediate deal breaker. The conversation has been rolling [...]